Kids whine because parents SOMETIMES give in to them. I learnt this from my 3.5 year old son HERE.
The principle behind why a child whines is exactly the same as what motivates a gambler to keep on pulling on the lever of a jackpot machine. It is random intermittent variable reinforcement (or RIVR). When a gambler pulls on a jackpot machine, he SOMETIMES wins a few hundred dollars. Since the gambler cannot predict when he will win, he keeps on trying.
Parents are human. We sometimes give in because we are TIRED. We just want the whining to stop. Supposing your child wants a Magnum ice cream badly. He asks for it. You say, "No." If he keeps asking and finally you say, "Yes," he has hit the jackpot!" You may not do this for everything he asks. Often, we are strong enough to stay committed to our, "No."
However, once in a long while, we crack and say, "Yes." Parents are human too.
Think about it. The gambler does not need to win big every week to keep on trying. He just needs to win big ONCE and he is hooked onto the hope of winning big. It does not matter if you are a parent with an iron will. I have seen Fathers with a will of iron, melt into putty in the face of a daughter's whine.
So, even if you say "No," and mean, "No," 99 times. That ONE time you say, "Yes," will doom you (oh poor hapless parent) to a lifetime of life-sapping, frustration building, tear-hair-out whining.
During the entire month of Home Based Learning, if you are experiencing a lot of stress working with your children during Home Based Learning, please type your issue/question in the comments below. I will troubleshoot for you and post my advice in future posts.
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